Taking care of dad

Transcript

Becoming a dad can present you with a range of emotions, unlike anything you've felt before, from love and excitement to tiredness and frustration. Parenting has it all. There's no instruction manual for being a dad, and sometimes it feels like everyone else is doing a better job. Take Jack and Vijay, their neighbours and good friends. They both like to keep fit and often go to the gym together.

When Jack and Vijay found out they were going to be dads, they were thrilled. But as time went on, Jack started to worry about the sheer volume of change a baby was going to bring to his life. How would he cope with all the responsibilities? What if he got sick or lost his job and couldn't pay the bills? What if he was a bad dad? When his beautiful baby girl was born, Jack thought things would get better, but the negative thoughts were still there, and he felt guilty for not feeling how he thought he should. Jack considered telling someone, but he always compared himself to Vijay, and he seemed to have everything under control, so Jack said nothing.

When Jack stopped going to the gym, Vijay invited him around to see how he was going. Jack finally broke his silence and told Vijay how he'd been feeling. Vijay smiled and said he'd actually had similar thoughts just after his son was born.

Vijay's doctor told him it's normal to feel like you're on an emotional roller coaster when you first become a parent. But if worries interfere with daily life and you constantly feel overwhelmed, you need to talk to someone. Sometimes it can feel like the weight is on you to be the rock for the family, and if you admit you're struggling, that means you've failed. But that just isn't true. Vijay said it had taken guts to talk to the doctor.

Your doctor can talk you through options like counselling or medication, help you problem solve worries, and get a better night's sleep. Jack listened to Vijay and went to see his doctor, who also showed him a few online resources. He was relieved to find out he was actually just like a lot of new dads who had similar thoughts and worries. While talking with other dads, Jack found some really helpful advice and even picked up a few extra gym buddies.

Pretty soon, he felt like himself again, ready to appreciate all the great experiences that come with being a dad. Jack and Vijay's story is more common than you might think. If your thoughts and feelings are getting in the way of enjoying dad hood, talk to someone or head online to beyondblue.org.au and panda.org.au.