Cyclones and storms can be scary for people of all ages but for babies and young children ‘big feelings’ of fear and confusion can be overwhelming. Before the cyclone, they pick up the tension of adults around them. During the cyclone they may be frightened by the noise, while afterwards they may struggle to make sense of the destruction.
“Many adults think babies and young children won’t be emotionally affected by a cyclone, because they don’t understand what’s happening,” says Children’s Health Queensland senior psychologist Andrea Baldwin. “But that’s exactly why they may feel even more anxious than older children or adults. They don’t have the life experience to know that scary events like this do end, and life eventually gets back to normal.”
“After a cyclone, young children may feel uptight, anxious, sad or angry. They may have trouble sleeping, eating or concentrating. If they feel the world can’t be trusted any more, they’ll cling to their adults rather than having the confidence to play, explore and experiment. That sense of mistrust isn’t great for their learning and development,” Dr Baldwin said.
“It’s important for parents and carers to help them feel safe, calm, connected, empowered, and hopeful that in the end things will be OK.”
Try these expert tips for helping your child deal with the big emotions that may be stirred up when a cyclone hits close to home:
- Stay calm as your family prepares for the cyclone. Children will take their lead from the way you are responding to the situation, so it’s important to manage your own anxieties and show them that you are prepared and confident about your safety. It’s normal for everyone to be a little nervous about what’s to come, but if you look to be overwhelmed and fearful, your children will feel that way, too. By modelling calm, positive behaviour, you can help them develop healthy ways to cope with a stressful situation and manage their feelings.
- Talk with your child about what’s happening in an age-appropriate way, in language they can understand. Answer questions honestly but don’t give more information than they need. Remember to keep adult conversations about the cyclone away from little ears, too.
- Managing emotions can be difficult for young children when they don’t have words for what they’re feeling. Help your child to talk about how their feelings to normalise them and help them process the situation calmly. Start a conversation with your child and try to help them to put a name to their feelings, for example, ‘You seem very quiet. I wonder if you’re feeling a bit worried’.
- Cuddle and read a healing and helping story together to help your child understand what's happening. ‘Birdie and the Cyclone’, is a storybook to help young children learn what happens during and after a cyclone, work through sad or scary feelings, understand that people will help, and look forward to feeling safe and happy again. Read Birdie and the Cyclone online storybook.
- Spend time having fun with your child, for example blowing bubbles or singing. Reassure the child that they are safe and you will stay with them. Help them focus activities they enjoy. “Playing a game with a caring adult that explores the child's experience can help them work through big feelings,” Dr Baldwin said. The Birdie’s Tree website has free games and the activity book Fun with Birdie.
- Make sure your child’s favourite toy or blanket is always handy. Something familiar can be a comfort in uncertain times, especially if the child has to leave their home.
- Try to maintain a ‘soft routine’ with regular times for waking up, going to bed, having meals and so on. Structure and routine help a child feel their world hasn’t become completely chaotic, and they can still count on some things staying the same.
Signs your child might be struggling with the situation
Every child is different. One may bounce cheerfully through a natural disaster like a cyclone or a flood, while another will need lots of reassurance and support.
In times of stress, babies and young children may:
- become worried, but may not have the words to tell you
- be clingy or whiny, cry, seem more helpless or emotional
- have tantrums or become aggressive
- eat less or more than usual
- have trouble sleeping, have nightmares, or seem more tired than usual
- want to be closer to their parents or carers, needing more cuddles.
If your child doesn’t seem to be their ‘usual self’, think about what their behaviour may be telling you. Listen and spend time with them. Some of the ideas above may help them navigate through this time of stress.
Remember to take care of you, too!
It’s important to take care of yourself so you can support your child. Try to stay calm and focus on positives around your child. Find ways to express and manage your own feelings, to show children how to do this too. It can be a challenge to do look after yourself after a cyclone. Take a moment to think about what you need physically, socially and emotionally. Just taking a few deep breaths, or checking in with a friend, can help you feel steadier. If you’re finding it hard to cope as time goes on, there’s lots of help available.
Ask for help if you need it
If you or your family are finding it difficult to cope after the cyclone, professional help is available from:
- Your GP or child health nurse
- 13HEALTH (13 43 25 84)
- Lifeline (24hr) 131 114
- Beyond Blue 1300 224 636
For more information about helping your child cope with a cyclone and its aftermath, read our fact sheet: Growing together through natural disasters – Cyclone.