With young people increasingly connecting with peer groups and others online through a variety of social media applications and websites, the risk of exposure to cyberbullying also increases.
It is an unfortunate reality that too many children and young people contend with abuse online. Before social media and the internet, children and young people could escape to the safety of their homes and trusted peer groups.
Cyberbullying, trolling, and cyberstalking are worryingly unique in that they can be persistent (there can be no relief from it), permanent (once something is posted publicly it can be difficult to remove), and hard to detect and police. One post, meme, or video can spread very quickly (often referred to as ‘going viral’) and be seen by many, many people.
Cyberbullying can hurt someone as much as in-person physical or verbal bullying and have a significant impact on a child or young person’s mental health, including leading to self-harm or suicidal thoughts and behaviours.
Parents and carers of young people are also faced with new challenges as evolving social media platforms make it harder for parents to monitor their child’s use of social media. Young people can evade age restrictions and use acronyms and language unfamiliar to older generations. Cyberbullying can take many different forms, be in languages other than English, and be posted anonymously.
It’s vital for parents and carers to be aware of the signs and seek help immediately. Most importantly, for young people to know they’re not alone, and there is help available.
What is cyberbullying?
Cyberbullying (including trolling) is intimidating or hurting someone using electronic communication (such as email, social media, other websites, and text messages) on digital devices (computers, tablets, and mobile phones).
It can include:
- sending, sharing or ‘liking’ mean, negative, or abusive posts about someone
- sharing private or personal information, images, or videos about someone to cause embarrassment
- spreading rumours or lies online
- repeated harassment and threatening messages (cyberstalking)
- setting up fake online profiles to hurt someone anonymously.
How do I know if my child is being bullied online?
Watch for the following signs in your child or young person:
- being upset during or after using the internet or mobile phone
- changes in personality, becoming more withdrawn, anxious, sad or angry
- appearing lonely or distressed
- unexpected changes in friendship groups
- a decline in school grades
- changed sleep patterns
- avoiding school or other activities
- a decline in physical health
- secretive about online activities and mobile phone use.
What can I do if my child is being bullied online?
Talk about it
Even before your child shows any of the signs mentioned above, or other worrying and out-of-character behaviours, it is important to talk with them and invite them to share their experiences online without judgement.
Open communication is very important, whether directly with you or another trusted adult such as an aunt/uncle, older sibling, or grandparent. Keep the focus off the situation by also encouraging your child to do something offline that they enjoy. Reassure them that you won’t block their access to the internet because they have reported a problem to you and use opportunities to discuss safe online behaviours and place healthy boundaries around their screen use, especially at bedtime.
It is also important to role model healthy screen use and be careful of what you post about your children.
Tell your child’s school
If cyberbullying involves another student, talk to your child’s school, as it should have a policy in place to help manage this issue.
Collect the evidence and report the bullying
There are several ways to collect the right evidence and report cyberbullying:
- Keep a record of offending emails, text messages or online conversations.
- Ask your child to screenshot any upsetting messages or conversations.
- Report the cyberbullying to the appropriate service provider (i.e. Facebook) using their reporting tools and ask for the content to be removed.
- Report a complaint about cyberbullying and cyber abuse, image-based abuse (sharing, or threatening to share, intimate images without the consent of the person shown) or illegal and restricted online content via eSafety Commissioner via the online complaints form.
Manage contact with others
You and your child can take some simple steps to help manage the issue in the short term, including:
- advise your child not to retaliate or respond to any online abuse (this material could be against them in future)
- block or unfriend the perpetrator to stop contact with your child
- help your child change their privacy settings to restrict who can see their posts and profile page.
For more advice and resources, including parent webinars, visit www.esafety.gov.au/
What are the signs of a child or young person at risk of suicide?
Being aware of changes in your child’s normal mood and behaviour can help you to see when something might be wrong. Keep an eye out for the following:
- Threatening to self-harm or kill themselves.
- Talking or writing about death, dying or suicide.
- Expressing feelings of hopelessness, no sense of purpose or ‘no reason for living’.
- Expressing rage, anger or seeking revenge.
- Acting recklessly or engaging in risky activities.
- Withdrawing from friends, family, or society.
- Dramatic changes in mood.
- Giving away possessions.
If you think your child may be suicidal:
The Youth Mental Health First Aid Guidelines recommend:
- Do not leave them alone. If you can’t stay with them, find someone responsible who can.
- Seek immediate help:
- call your local Mental Health Crisis team (Queensland Children’s Hospital Acute Response Team (07) 3068 2555 for Brisbane Metro) or MHCall (1300 642 255) outside of Brisbane Metro area
- call 000
- take your child or young person to the emergency department of your nearest hospital
- take your child or young person to see a GP.
- Seek out support services and systems that have worked for you in the past such as family, friends, mental health support services or phone counselling services.
Useful websites
Bullying – Queensland Government